8 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Alive after Children with my Hubby Jon [Episode #707]

This week’s topic is: 8 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Alive after Children with my Hubby Jon

My hubby is someone that I am incredibly grateful for. I can say with honesty that he is my dream man, and I feel so grateful that I was able to call this in. And it’s something that I love to share about because I’ve also shared the ups and downs in relationships and in many personal aspects of my life. I share about this in the new book, as well as stories with Jon and I.

This is a topic that I’m really excited to share about because as a parent, as a mother, having friends that are parents as well, and being part of the collective, I know that it can be very busy and life gets very full, however, I do believe that intention is key. And if it is your intention to keep the relationship romantic and passionate, you can achieve that.

Today, Jon and I will share some specific and general ideas that will hopefully apply to your life to do just that. Jon is an incredibly creative person. He has a PR agency and strategy firm that he founded. And he’s the CEO of Jack Taylor PR.  

Topics Covered In 8 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Alive after Kiddos with my Hubby Jon

#1. How humor brings lightness into the family environment  

#2. Why having a regimented system makes things more easeful

#3. Continued communication and why this is key 

#4. Having a housekeeper or someone to assist around the house

#5. Passions outside of each other and independently fulfilling ourselves

#6. The power of choice, individually and collectively

#7. Creating together 

#8. Lovemaking and keeping it alive in a relationship

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Transcript:

Note: The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate. This is due to inaudible passages or transcription errors. It is posted as an aid, but should not be treated as an authoritative record.

Kimberly: Hi loves and welcome back to our Monday interview podcast. I’m so excited to have my wonderful hubby, Jon, back on the show today. And the topic that we are focusing on is Keeping Our Relationship Passionate and Romantic with Children. And I could add to that in the middle of busy life, modern life, lots of things going on. And my hubby is someone that I am incredibly grateful for. I can say with honesty that he is my dream man, and I feel so grateful that I was able to call this in. And it’s something that I love to share about because as I’ve also shared about with you, I’ve had ups and downs in relationships and just in many personal aspects of my life. And I share about this a lot in the new book, as well as stories, um, with John and I. So this is a topic that I am really excited to share about because as a parent, as a mother, having, you know, lots of friends that are parents as well, and, you know, being part of the collective of course, and I know that it can be very busy and life gets very full, but I do believe that intention is key.

Kimberly: And if it is your intention to keep the relationship romantic and passionate, you can achieve that. So today, John and I will share some specific ways, some general ideas as well, that will hopefully apply to your life to do just that. And John is, um, mentioned, he’s an incredibly creative person. He has a PR agency and strategy firm that he founded. And he’s the CEO of called Jack Taylor PR. And you can check out more about him in the show notes. Before we dive into our interview today, or I’ll say conversation, it’s really free flowing when it’s the two of us.

Please leave a review on iTunes

Kimberly: But before we dive in, just wanna give a quick reminder to please leave us a review on apple, Spotify, wherever you listen to your podcast and to our feel good podcast, because it’s such an incredibly wonderful way to support the show. And it could literally be a sentence. It could literally take 32 seconds out of your day, but it really is awesome. And I appreciate it so much. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you in advance. Please also be sure to subscribe to our show and that way you stay in the flow of the conversation. We have these interviews and solo cast always on Mondays. And then Thursday, we have our Q&A show, which are centered around questions that come right from our community. And we rotate around, uh, emphasizing each of the four cornerstones food body, emotional wellbeing, and spiritual growth. And finally, I’ll say to please share the show. I think this is such a powerful way to expand your own energy. And this is a yogic principle of generosity. So if you can think of anyone that would benefit from a particular episode or show in general, please just take a screenshot, pass it along, send a link, whatever it is. And it’s a great way to share the love. 

Get Your Copy Of YOU ARE MORE

Kimberly: I mentioned the new book, You Are More More Than You Think You Are – Practical Enlightenment For Everyday Life, earlier because John hubby plays a big role in the book he’s woven throughout the chapter. Some of the stories about how we came together in love, how my intuition kicked in, in allowing me to discern this incredible man and many different aspects of life and our world together with our kids and our families. So it is a practical guide for getting past fear and tuning into your potential. To, as we talk about in the show, really manifest really co-create the life that you want with universe, spirit source, God, whatever word you wanna use.

Kimberly: So please check it out. Wherever books are sold, your local book, sailor online, wherever it’s convenient for you. All right, all that being said, let’s get into our interview today with my wonderful, amazing husband, Jon.

Interview with Hubby Jon

Kimberly: Hi, baby. Welcome back to the woman cave slash podcast studio. You haven’t been here in, I think a few months.

Jon: I’m always grateful when I get invited down here. <laugh> and I like to look around and, and see what’s changed. Um, there’s definitely more of a Swami, three Yuk OI vibe in here right now. Are you you having a, a para guru kind of moment, month moment.

Focusing on mental strength, staying focused on the love, on the light, on our goals

Kimberly: So there is this practice that I recently shared in the Solluna Circle about going through your normal meditation. Like I, what I teach in the practical enlightenment meditations. And then if there is a guru or a Saint, or even someone you admire, or friend or whoever that you there’s an aspect or a quality that you really admire in them, what you do is you focus on them in your third eye mm-hmm <affirmative> and then you open your heart and you take in that quality. And so I’ve been really focused on sch who, like you said, is the para guru he’s Paramahansa Yogananda guru. And he, to me embodies dignity and mental strength. So that’s something I’m working on my own practice, mental strength, meaning we stay focused on the love on the light, on our goals. And we don’t get caught up in daily stuff as much. We don’t get distracted. We don’t listen to all the thoughts of the ego mm-hmm <affirmative>. So for the past few weeks, and while you were gone, cuz you were traveling with work for work for a few weeks, really came into my consciousness. So he’s been my focus, one of my focuses

Jon: Nine days.

Kimberly: Well

Jon: It felt like a few weeks.

Kimberly: <laugh> all in all it was about. I think it was 15 days, babe, what between work you at a conference, then you went to New York to visit your office, then you weren’t feeling well. So you quarantined in the guest house.

Jon: It was the quarantine that really tackle along those extra days.

Kimberly: Yeah. And then after we were sure you were clear and safe, you tested negative for COVID. Then you came back in to, to see me and the, the

Jon: Children and what a morning. That was.

Kimberly: Wow. So it was <laugh> I told you this earlier, when we were taking a bath with the kids, that it was, you know, just this mystical Misty morning here in California. And we were in the front as always picking apples, which is one of our morning practices. And then you took your test and you were negative. You came down the hill and we looked up and saw you,

Jon: There was mists. My, my robe was blowing in the wind <laugh>

Kimberly: And especially for mosey who doesn’t really understand where you went, why we could see you from a distance, but he couldn’t hug you. You couldn’t pick him up. It was a strange time. So that morning was felt very magical.

Jon: Yeah.

Kimberly: So back in the house, back in the studio where I am particularly happy, I think, you know, our topic today is keeping the closeness, keeping our relationship romantic even with kids. And I think having these little breaks sometimes allows us to appreciate each other even more. 

Jon: I think that’s true. Um, I also think that we do a pretty good job of appreciating each other. There’s there’s not very often where I’m like, oh, let me get outta here. Let me, I need

Kimberly: To get

Jon: Disturb. Yeah. And I think it’s normal to have that. Um, I just also think that we’re in a particularly wonderful phase with the, with the family, like Moses is more awesome. Every day you can like Emerson is more, you can just, you can relate to him. Yes. Like there’s like we’re into like more of the same stuff. Um, you and I are particularly close right now. Um, I don’t know. I think it’s just a good, a good, a good moment in our, in our lives.

Kimberly: Well, I think we continue to get closer and closer. There’s like layers and layers of self growth and I think relationship growth. And so I wanna talk about how do you know, what are some of the things that we wanna share around that, that work for us because I’ve been in relationships, you have to, that didn’t feel increasingly closer. And you know, people listening to this, anyone listening to this, that’s like, well, you know, life is busy and living with kids is really full and it’s really busy and that’s, that’s true. It’s not that we don’t live incredibly busy lives. There’s a lot going on. But one of the things that I think keeps this closeness and this, you know, these really feelings of romantic love alive in the middle of life with two kids is first of all, the humor. And I think we don’t take things so seriously. There’s a lot of laughter in our house. I mean, there’s just, the mornings are hectic. There’s getting ready for camp right now. And lunches, pack and snacks and getting them both dressed and breakfast and they start to bicker with each other. There’s just a lot of fullness, but in the middle of it, you’ll like, stick your finger in your nose and make them laugh really hard. Or I there’s just these, these moments, there’s so many, so many ways that we just kind of keep it light and I think that’s important. So things, life doesn’t feel so heavy.

How humor brings lightness into the family environment

Jon: I also think that a lot of my humor is a lot more high brow than that less kind of slab sticky. <laugh> I’m deeper than just a nose pick. Well, okay. Although give some examples go wrong.

Kimberly: Yeah. I can’t, I can

Jon: Under arm, farting is always a good one. Um, no, I just, you know, I think we do keep it light. I just think that that is when it’s light, you know, when it’s heavy, it’s heavy, but on, on average, uh, we do keep it light, but also, you know, I think early on when Moses was just born, I had no idea what to do and you are just that type of person that just will do and do and do and do. And we had, you know, I just, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to do stuff. It was that I really didn’t know what to do. And you were so naturally good at it. Yeah. That I tried to support you where I could, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t enough. Right. And it was coming

Kimberly: That conversation.

Jon: Yeah. It was becoming an issue in, in our relationship. And now, you know, like it’s very important for me to train in the mornings to do jujitsu or whatever I’m doing in, in the mornings. And that’s kind of my meditation and it’s very important for you to have time to meditate in the morning. And it’s very time for you to meditate in the afternoon. Yes. And so we have blocks of time where I cover yeah. What I need to do and you cover. So it’s much more of a regimented thing now. And I think that system makes it a lot more, um, easeful, because it’s more of a, a team effort as opposed to you doing everything. And then resenting me

Why having a regimented system makes things more easeful

Kimberly: Right. There was that wave when mosey was a newborn where I was taking on everything and then it, you know, we kind of took some steps and then there was the second wave. And then we had a conversation a few months ago, where again, it just felt like you are always around. You’re such a hands on Papa and an amazing husband and you always are here, but I wasn’t giving you directives. And we’ve had this conversation. Some of the differences, I, I don’t wanna generalize, but with men and women or in our relationship, I am more intuitive about the children’s needs or what needs to be done in the house. And I’ll just order everything or shop and make the food and do this and this. And then I was starting to feel burned out. So then we start, I started to say, okay, five, I need a break. I need to be able to shower. You give the kids the bath and you start dinner. And that made a big difference.

Jon: It was, it was a pretty quick conversation because it started off where it was like I was saying, I just want, like, I, I, I want to help. I’m just not quite sure what to do in these situations. It’s, it’s all new to me. And it just doesn’t come as naturally to me, as it comes to you and you were saying, I want you to, to, to just to just do those things. And I’m like, I kind of need to know what you need from me. But if you tell me what you need from me, I will do it.

Kimberly: Yes.

Jon: And once we aligned on that, that just what ha what comes naturally to me, isn’t what you wanted from me. Uh, it’s been pretty, pretty smooth since then.

Continued communication and why this is key

Kimberly: Yes. So part of our relationship and the closeness is that continued communication, which I think is really key and important. And like you, you used the word, um, I think you said regimented, well, there’s some structure mm-hmm <affirmative>. And then once we have that, it allows the lightness and the fun to expand. Right. Because we’re getting our needs met and it’s hard to keep a relationship. I think romantic, if you, you know, someone’s resentful, someone’s feeling like they’re not being understood or listened to. So communication is

Jon: Key. Yeah. I also think that there’s that madness that happens when you have young kids running around everywhere. And I think both of us like that madness, I don’t like when kids are crying and when kids are yelling and when there’s stuff everywhere, I love that. Cuz that’s not boring. That is there’s energy everywhere. And like there’s kids crying, uh, or yelling or doing it doesn’t bother me. I actually, I like being in that environment.

Kimberly: Yeah. We are not planners <laugh> we are very spontaneous people. We both went backpacking for a long time. We’re okay. In messiness. Whereas I have friends that plan their trips, like four months in advance and it stresses them out if everything isn’t booked and we literally just book our tickets to Hawaii a few days before we go and we don’t plan. So we’re okay in the chaos and um, you know, that’s, that works for us.

Having a housekeeper or someone to assist around the house

Kimberly: But another thing that is, that is practical and we are, you know, so lucky and we’re both grateful that we can have this. We both work and we’re both working parents is that we can have a housekeeper. Yeah. So I think that helps as well because yes, it’s messy and chaotic and fun, but there is someone helping and that helps, you know, it does help our relationship. Cuz we have our tasks, we have our work, we’re both working full time and then we have house help. We never had a nanny. We’ve never out. I don’t like to outsource any of the kids stuff, but the house help, I happily do outsource.

Jon: Yeah. Yeah. It would be impossible.

Kimberly: Well, it would be, you know, I look at MSCE Elena, who’s such a beautiful light, beautiful soul. And she’s busy during the day when she’s here in the hours. And I think I couldn’t be productive in writing, running Sona, doing this podcast, being on other people’s podcasts, writing articles for all the people. I read articles. I couldn’t do it and be the hands on mom. No, but that’s, it’s three

Jon: Jobs. Nobody can do that to, to work full time from home. And um, yeah. So work full time from home and to be running after kids and taking care of a house,

Kimberly: It’s three

Jon: Jobs. It’s not, it’s not, but it’s actually not doable.

Kimberly: Yeah. No. When I look at the hours, it is, it, it is. And I always say, I can have two jobs, but not three. Yeah. So the kids I’m picking up, you know, from camp and putting them down for naps and playing with them. And I don’t wanna outsource that. You know, you and I have talked about that. And at the same time, I don’t wanna, I’m fortunate to be in this position where I’m able to do podcasts during nap times. And now we just had bedtime and I wrote the newsletter for Solluna like I have a very flexible schedule, but um, yeah, I am very clear in that. It’s important to me to be the, the mom instead of, you know, outsourcing it mm-hmm <affirmative> and I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer for any family. I did a podcast earlier today with Mallika Chopra, Deepak’s daughter, and she is an entrepreneur and she’s this creator and she talked about this ebb and flow in her career. Now her, her kids are in college, so she’s stepping up and you know, but then her mother never, never worked. And she was this unapologetic, powerful maternal figure. Yeah. And you know, she talks about all the different ways, the divine feminine expresses. And I, I love how, how eloquently she puts it. It’s not right or wrong, better or worse. It’s just the different iterations.

Jon: Yeah. And I, I just wanna clarify what I meant when I said that you can’t do all three of those things. It’s impossible. What I mean is you can’t do all those three, all three of those things. Well, it’s true. You know, like something, if you are doing all three of those things, something is not being done to the best of its of its potential because it’s just not possible given the, the, the jobs and the hours of the day

Kimberly: And back to our topic, then it will deplete the, I think the romantic aspect of the relationship, which is so important. You and I, as a couple, as, you know, best friends, leaders of the household lovers, that’s really important energy to maintain in the midst of all

Jon: Of this. Sure, sure. I mean, there’s traces of it that that start, but we communicate really well. So, and when traces of like resentment for something like when, when you were doing everything, when Moses were just born, like you were, you were handling it and it took a while. And I think you were just, I was, you know, I, I really, and, and I think it’s common with men that I almost didn’t want to touch him. I didn’t wanna hold him as much cuz I, I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t wanna hurt him. Yeah. You know, like that’s not, that’s not uncommon. I talked to a lot of, a lot of men that, that have that. So you just did and did, and didn’t there was resentment, but as soon as we actually talked about it and dealt with it, um,

Kimberly: Yeah, we figured it out. Well, it was unusual too, because I had Moses, we had Moses as a newborn in the pandemic. Yeah. So EE had just was not even four, just turned four and he wasn’t in preschool. So I was with him all day. I was trying to hold everything together.

Jon: But resentment odes a relationship if it’s not. Yes, that was it’s natural. Yes. It’s natural to have that beginning of, of resentment at certain things like we’re, you know, living two lives is one and taking on different tasks and there’s different responsibilities. I think it’s really normal to have that beginning of the resentment. But if you don’t actually communicate on it, it will erode a relationship.

Passions outside of each other and independently fulfilling ourselves

Kimberly: Yes. So just staying true tuning into the truths and the feelings and making sure that it feels balanced and then communicating when it doesn’t. And then the next part that I think is really alive in our relationship is our passions outside of each other. Right. So it’s like we don’t over rely on each other to be the source of everything validation and, you know, comfort and excitement. We come together and we love to share about our day and I love so Luna and I love writing books and all the things I do. And you love running Jack Taylor, your PR and strategy firm, and you love jujitsu. And I’m really passionate about my spiritual practice and meditation and we share ideas and there’s something about having that, at least in our relation, I feel like that independence like that life. And then we share it with each other feels magnetic.

Jon: Yeah. Um, I’m not, you know, I I’m a meditator, but it’s not as big of a part of my life as it is yours. That being said, I love going to service on Sundays.

Kimberly: Yeah.

Jon: And, uh, we do have very different hobbies, but uh, no, but, um, yeah, we come together. It works

Kimberly: Well. I think if, you know, if, if there’s an, overreliance like an overdependence or codependence, I think in a relationship that can also deplete it. And so keeping it exciting and keeping it romantic means we independently fulfill ourselves. Does that make

Jon: Sense? Are you talking about romance now?

Kimberly: Well, that’s been the theme, the show baby <laugh>. So I’m saying like when there’s, when there’s couples, like one person is, you know, out and one person’s sort of not feeling fulfilled in their life or not, you know, whatever it is. And then they’re kind of pulling on that person, that person feels,

Jon: I understand,

Kimberly: You know what I’m saying? Yes. Like I think it’s important for each person in the relationship.

Jon: We’re both inspired by things outside of our relationship.

Kimberly: Exactly, exactly. Yeah. And that’s for us in our work and our interests in our things, we are passionate about learning about like I’m a voracious reader and I love to read scripture and text and go back and, and journal and, and, you know, get in there and you are very, um, many interests, but one of the things you’re very physical, like you’re loving this very, um, strategic jiujitsu right. And like pH, you know, physicality and strength and, um, you have ice baths and saunas.

Jon: I like the uncomfortable yes. Things, but that’s also why I like meditation. Meditation is unbelievably, uh, challenging. Um, but it’s easier to actually stick with something like an ice bath where it’s like, you’re gonna get in this 32 degree water and you’re gonna sit in here for four minutes when, you know, there’s, you know, a beginning and an end that you can endure or a sauna or something like that. And you feel amazing after with meditation, you would have to constantly keep bringing yourself back to it until you’re, you know, as, as proficient as it at it, as you are mm-hmm <affirmative> mm-hmm <affirmative> you probably still have to do that too.

Kimberly: Yeah, of course. I think that every day is, is different. And I think that every time you sit on the mat, there’s different energies around there’s different cycles. There’s different things in your mind.

Jon: Do you ever have a time where like you just can’t get through? Cause I do.

Kimberly: So I recently did a podcast about grief and I was recalling this time when my mom passed away and it was really hard to meditate. I was just like taking a full breath, felt like, you know, like of the achievement cuz I was holding and kind of clenching and crying so much. So there’s periods where I go through challenge where I can’t really just sit there and meditate. And of course it is one of the most healing things. So you get back to the mat, but I can’t push it sometimes when it’s really, really difficult.

Jon: Yeah.

Kimberly: So interest passions. And then the other part is I, I just love, we love talking to each other. We love our bedtime

Jon: Time. That’s the special part of the day. Isn’t it? It’s like a whole other day.

Kimberly: <laugh> the kids are asleep. I cuddle in this nook in your arms. And I’m so excited to tell you about the podcast I did or the conversation. And you’re so excited to tell me about a client you got or podcast you, did, you also have your podcast or something that happened in our days. And so it’s, it’s amazing

Jon: Something we’re excited about something we’re planning for the farm. Some things, exactly. This is, this is where we actually map out our lives.

Kimberly: Yes,

Jon: Yes. You know, like if we think about all the big decisions that we’ve made, most of them have been made in that, in that bed at night, in that like, you know, <laugh> 30 minute to four hour part of the day.

Kimberly: So I don’t know if we ever told this story or maybe we did on one podcast, but quickly it was in that bedtime experience where we talked about having a second home and I said, I love something tropical. And you just pulled up on Redfin, our farm and you saw it. And we were like, oh my gosh, it’s five acres. It looks great. There’s a joining land behind it’s 40,000 acres of national forest. Five days later, we were on the plane. 45 days later we were an escrow. Yeah. We move. We are spontaneous people. Yeah. We had that. Spanda that inspiration. And we just went with it.

Jon: No. And you have certain times where you actually like, remember the picture of that moment. Like that, every scene of that moment. I remember every scene. I remember I was drinking a glass of wine.

Kimberly: Yes. Red wine. Yeah. I remember that. Cuz we go in phases. I haven’t had a glass of red wine and there’s

Jon: Nothing worse before

Kimberly: Bed. I think. Yes.

Jon: There’s really, it’s rare.

Kimberly: It’s very

Jon: Rare.

Kimberly: It’s

Jon: Tough. There’s nothing worse in my recovery wine. All alcohol

Kimberly: But wine, especially.

Jon: Yeah.

Kimberly: I, yeah. I, I think back on my partying years, I don’t know how I did it, but now I’m very sensitive. I value sleep so much. Yeah. That I do not drink alcohol.

Jon: I also value days. Yeah. More. And this is why I love Hawaii so much. And it’s a little bit off topic, but it’s maybe relevant.

Kimberly: Well relevant

Jon: Is so my head office is in New York city. And so when my team gets to the office, let’s say 10 o’clock everybody rolls in by 10 o’clock. Uh, it’s 4:00 AM in Hawaii and I’m up. Yeah. I’m up anyway. So I’m up and I’m working and I, you know, I get,

Kimberly: Which is seven in LA.

Jon: Yeah. And I get a full day’s working and, and actually I’m much more productive in, in Hawaii because there’s just, it seems like there’s less distractions. It’s not even light out for the first four or five hours, uh, or plenty on time of year. But um, so, um, yeah. I, and then by 11 or 12, o’clock, everybody’s leaving the office, media’s done workdays done. And now we can go on a waterfall hike or go farm and garden, do whatever it is that we do hang out with the kids, uh, and then go to sleep like eight o’clock

Kimberly: <laugh> whatever, be like seven o’clock.

Jon: Yeah. But I like that. I value days more than nights.

Kimberly: Well, and that’s, that is very relevant, I think to our conversation because this passion, so we have passions and interests outside of ourselves, but we also have passions we’ve created together, like the farm where we’re doing it together. It was this seed idea that we both

Jon: Seed

Kimberly: Idea planted. Right. Well, that’s a very planted yeah, very, yeah. The pump, but it’s

Jon: The farm pond.

Having the power of choice, individually and collectively

Kimberly: It’s a, but it’s a very, um, sort of VEIC term to VEIC to talk about the seed idea and then the seed idea or the seed thought becomes a pattern which often manifests in even physical, you know, vitality, right. Physical disorder in the body. Right. So to look at that seed energy. Yeah. So it’s very VEIC but <laugh> in terms of what we’re seeing here, we decided to create this. First of it was a second property, then we’re like, no, let’s get, let’s make a farm. We well kind of farm. Well, we love chocolate Kaka. We’re gonna launch our honey in a few months. We’re so excited to offer it. It’s beautiful organic honey from our land. And so creating something together that we’re so passionate about now, we’re so passionate about getting our fingers in the dirt and we all the kids Bubi and MOSY help. So we’re planting, we’re creating together and there’s something so amazing about that.

Jon: There’s something healing about it. You know, I grew up without a relationship with plants really? Definitely. Without a relationship with food

Kimberly: You urban. Yeah.

Jon: And, uh, it’s healing that in one generation where, you know, our kids go and they are gardening and planting from a young and it’s also just very cathartic to be like I could garden all day long every day.

Kimberly: And I’m always so impressed by that. When you describe your childhood where you didn’t really, you had like a tiny yard and you grew up in the city with sidewalks and yet it’s so natural to you to just get in the guard, get in the farm. We we’ve together. We’ve planted our own 600 baby couch trees we have in our nursery,

Jon: By the way, my suitcase

Kimberly: Is in the farm.

Jon: My suitcases are all packed with pots and trays and gardening

Kimberly: Supplies. Right. We have, we have certain pots that we have to, you know, be the mules and carryover because they don’t carry them on our tiny island. But it’s interesting. We can really, we have chosen our own way and it is not the way in which we were raised.

Jon: No.

Kimberly: So that’s, it’s powerful. The power of choice.

Jon: Yeah. Yeah. But um, just the, just giving our kids that opportunity to really connect with plants in nature in a way that, that we never had is, is a huge blessing because it, it comes very naturally I think comes naturally to everyone.

Kimberly: Well, I did connect with nature though. I grew up on four acres, not with food, we didn’t grow food, but I was always in the forest. Yeah. And our kids are always in the forest. We are barefoot. We do our hikes barefoot, E E and I camp a lot. It’s not comfortable enough for you, but we are sleeping in that forest. We are being in that, that land in the most natural way. I think it’s amazing.

Jon: Yeah.

Kimberly: We’re

Jon: Very blessed. Maybe I’ll camp with you on this trip.

Kimberly: Maybe we’ll have to get you an extra camping pad. So we’ll, uh, lure you into

Jon: The camp, the camp right on the ground. Yeah. And, uh, I don’t sleep.

Kimberly: Yeah. You know, I was talking to a friend about it and she was like, you actually sleep in a tent. She was like, you must be a really good sleeper. And I said, yeah, we love it. It rains almost every night where we are. And so we have a rain cover. So I hear the rain coming down on the tent. We stay dry. There’s bull frogs. There’s owls at night. I mean, it’s incredible.

Jon: Mm-hmm <affirmative>

Create together

Kimberly: Yeah. So we’ve, we’ve, you know, so I think, you know, listen, it’s not obviously possible for everyone to create a farm together. We’re very, very blessed. We’re very grateful. But I think starting any project with your partner, whether it’s like, um, anything that, you know, re redecorating a room or starting a hobby together, taking a dance class together or starting a, you know, a bed, a garden bed, like anything that you create together is a, is a beautiful way to connect.

Jon: You know, it will be really interesting to see how it goes is, um, we’ve been very aligned on, on most things, whether it be design of our, of our home or the farm or, or anything like any, like that’s been really seamless. It will be really interesting to see what happens when we actually start doing business and building a business because that’s, you know, we, we probably have very different experiences and there are two parts of our personalities that we keep pretty, pretty siloed.

Kimberly: Well, you and I, in both of our businesses are creative people and we have great operations people. Yeah. So we are bringing in, that’s gonna be, you know, related to Solluna. And so my team is coming in because you and I would be a disaster. Totally.

Jon: We do do not have complimentary warehouses

Kimberly: Skillset. No, we are both creative ideas people. So we need that very CFA, that earth, that detailed team, which we’re bringing in, because that is not where we Excel.

Jon: No, I can honest to God, like obviously I can send emails, but not much more than that. <laugh>

Kimberly: Yeah. I mean already with Jimmy, our beekeeper, he’s like, okay, here’s the equipment.

Jon: He’s not great either

Kimberly: You need to get, but he’s told us, here’s the honey extractor, here’s the stuff you need to get. And then there’s like, you know, just dealing with like the simple, like payments and all the things and it’s um, yeah, we’ve had to bring in help already. So I think it’ll be okay because again, just like we have support in our businesses, it is a business. So we just need

Jon: To, well, we don’t have ego around that. So no, if anything, we’re like, no, we definitely know what our strengths and what our, what our weaknesses are and have to hire to our yeah. Our weaknesses. Otherwise nothing will get done.

Kimberly: <laugh> well, it’s true. And so it’s, um, you know, there’s all these books and all these quizzes about like the different energies in your team, but from an Ave standpoint, it’s very simple, right? The five elements, airspace, fire earth and water. If you are one of the elements you predominate for me, I’m a lot of vodka, a lot of air, a lot of creativity, I run thin, um, cold. You need, if your, if your whole team is VA, it’s like air. Like it’s just like ideas, but nothing happens. So the two main people on my team, John and Katelyn are very CFA, very detailed, very earthy, just get in there, get things done, structured people. And that’s important piece. You have a lot of Pita. I mean, we all have all the elements. You have Vata too, of that creativity, but you have a lot of fire,

Jon: But I’m like a furnace, like actually, like I can heat up a room.

Kimberly: You literally, you, and it’s funny because when you are that element you’re drawn to more, that elements, you love spicy food, you love getting in the sauna, you know, it’s, it’s like, we’re, we’re drawn to what we know and what we are because it feels comfortable.

Jon: Yeah.

Kimberly: So for me as Ava, I love, you know, dry, crispy pretzels and, and breads and things. Cuz that’s what

Jon: My constitution. Right. And I could never have that and be fine.

Lovemaking and keeping it alive in a relationship

Kimberly: Right. So there you go. So, um, romantic passion <laugh> yeah. Keeping it alive in a relationship. So in a practical sense, I do think, you know, we don’t, I don’t talk about sex a lot on the podcast love making, but it is an important part of keeping a relationship alive. I think it is easy after you have kids and you have a really full day and you’re working a lot to say, I’m tired. We don’t have time for this. You and I value the physical part of our relationship. I’ll just leave it, you know, say that. And it’s important. There’s a different electricity in a house. I think where the husband and wife, the mother and father are making love regularly.

Jon: I agree. And also, um, I don’t even know the, the, the other way, uh, I, I, I wouldn’t want that. <laugh> I wouldn’t wanna, I just wouldn’t want that type of a relationship like.

Kimberly: Platonic.

Jon: Yeah. I want that, that passion in everything in my life. And I’m not, we’re not just raising kids. We’re not just life partners because it’s easy to, you know, live over friends two lives. Yeah. We’re really good friends. We get along and we want company like we are lovers. Yes. And, uh, that’s the,

Kimberly: It’s the glue,

Jon: It’s the glue.

Kimberly: It’s true. And you know, sometimes you hear people say, oh, well, sex isn’t important. Or now it’s like, we’ve had kids or the female body changes. Remember one of your friends said that. I was like, yeah, but you still, we are sensual sexual beings and that’s connection. We are the only ones that we make love with. So it’s a unique part of our relationship, right. We have many friends and many acquaintances and coworkers, but between you and I, this closeness, this physical closeness, this, the energy, I just think it’s so important to really make space for.

Jon: Yeah. It’s also another, you know, way that we communicate with each other. Yes. That carries on to the rest of the day and how we communicate with each other when we’re not making love. Like we are touchy, affectionate, you know, fiery people towards each other. And there’s that, there’s that passion that that’s a through line in, in our, in our love. And it’s not something where I’m like, well, I hope that never, you know, <laugh> goes away. Like, that’s just, that’s who we are. It’s not going to be something that, um, you know, that I think to be honest, that, and maybe I’ll eat these words, but we’re three years in that we have to work at. That’s something that comes very naturally to us.

Kimberly: Well, I think, you know, the, the back to the seed of our relationship, the attraction that we felt for each other, wasn’t just surface it. Wasn’t like, oh, you have a pretty face. And I do too. And we like each other on the surface, we kind of fit, it was this energy, this soul connection. And so I feel like when you have that, it’s not about, oh, we’re gonna age. We’re gonna look different. Maybe we gain a couple pounds that doesn’t make the attraction go away.
Jon: How can you, how come you pointed at me when you said gain a couple <laugh>

Kimberly: I didn’t date the, I was just waving my hands. Like I, okay, it’s fine. I do speak a lot with my hands. No, I understand. I, I gave look at what, like pregnancy, right? And the body does change and postpartum and all that. You’ve seen me go through all these phases, but that’s why it’s important. All these, these preceding parts of what we talked about to keep this connection alive, because that’s where sustainable attraction comes from. It’s below the surface. It’s really unique. This uniqueness, this unique energy that we have between us

Jon: I’m gay little fired up right now.

Kimberly: <laugh> well, anything you wanna add, but to the show, any, any other points you wanna add, baby? You don’t what to share, uh, always value your thoughts so much as my life partner. Yeah.

Jon: My lover, I think a lot of the, the through lines here are about, you know, passion. Yeah. And whether it’s our work, whether it’s our hobbies, whether it is our relationship or love our sex, uh, that throughline, that throughline is there, that we really spend time on things that we are just like, you know, just like running towards. And we don’t really do a lot of things that we don’t run towards. Right. You know, if we’re not, if we’re not like really excited about something, um, we don’t do it. And there’s very few exceptions. There are some exceptions that I can think of where like you stick to this with like media consumption, you consume almost no media zero. And,

Kimberly: But I’m not drawn to

Jon: It. Yeah. No, but, and, and you will not really watch a movie with me, never. And like, I will not

Kimberly: Drawn to it.

Jon: You know, an average show from time to time to, to kick back. I don’t really get a lot from it to be honest. And it’s not, it’s kind of more like a passing time thing. I understand why you don’t. Um, but with the exception of the odd show or something like that, all of our stuff is, are really things that, um, you know, we just it’s it’s it’s hell yes. Or none of it. And that runs through everything that we do.

Kimberly: Yes. And then the practical part, like we talked about is communication and getting help and support whether it’s with the house or whatever. And, and I remember I did this, uh, podcast recently, I was on light Walkins podcast and he said, oh, I was on your, you know, social media. And you could think, oh, you’re back and forth between Hawaii and there. And you guys live this privileged life. And it was like, and then he said, no, I know you’ve created this. And it’s true. We didn’t have trust funds. We didn’t have things handed to us. We, we got clear about what we wanted and I do believe that’s possible for everybody noon’s teachings about using the will getting clear, communicating, taking steps. We can mold our lives to what we want. What’s important to us. So if we wanna keep that romantic relationship, it is no, it is possible.

Jon: Yeah. I, I hear that sometimes from one of my friends from high school texted me, uh, we were texting last night and he had just gotten back from Hawaii saying how great it was. And I was like, yeah, it’s the best like, wow. He’s like, you really manifested your life.

Kimberly: Yeah.

Jon: And I was like, yeah, of course, of course, as I did you manifest yours also.

Kimberly: Exactly. We all, we are all co-creating with spirit, whether we use those words or not, but it’s again, um, for me, it’s been these, these teachings, which I’m so passionate about sharing and clarity, the ones I write about in the new book, you are more than you think you are that have helped me. And, uh, you know, it’s, it’s easy to get bogged down in our circumstances and the fear, but it is true that we choose and that we create, and we’re always creating

Jon: Preach mama.

Kimberly: So I love you so much, baby. You are my dream man. And <laugh>, I am so happy to share you with our beautiful community. And so thank you so much for coming back on.

Jon: Well, thank you wife. I love you so much. And, uh, thanks for having me down here in the <laugh> in the wife cave. I mean, I really

Kimberly: Do you like it, it’s cozy,

Jon: Smells great. It’s like a whole different vibe. It’s

Kimberly: Great. It is a very different vibe. And um, you know, I love being in your office too. It feels like I’m saturated in this very masculine energy. It feels balancing to me. And you’re very masculine. So here probably feels balancing to be in this feminine space.

Jon: Yeah. I like it.

Kimberly: Right. I love you so much.

Jon: Love you, mama.

So I hope you enjoyed our conversation today. As much as I enjoyed being with my hubby and sharing, please check out the show notes for other interviews and meditations recipes, articles. I think you would enjoy. And I will be back here Thursday for our next Q and a podcast. So thank you so much as always for being part of our community. Thank you so much for tuning in sending you lots and lots of love. See you back here soon. Namaste.

The post 8 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Alive after Children with my Hubby Jon [Episode #707] appeared first on Solluna by Kimberly Snyder.